


Discretion is the Better Part of Valour

by GoldenDelicious



Series: Treading New Ground [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5, F/F, Fluff, Masturbation, POV Second Person, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:29:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6907297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenDelicious/pseuds/GoldenDelicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't know what to do with these feelings. The signs are obvious but you're still afraid. You're afraid to show her you. You're afraid to tell her what you want. You're afraid that someone will find out.</p><p>But the moments you share with her give you courage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discretion is the Better Part of Valour

You hold no animosity towards Harry, you knew he was right all along. Though you used to be upset, furious even, you couldn't hold it against him when you learned he wasn't entirely an ass. He didn't ask for a nemesis, and after seeing what happened last year, you were sure you didn't want one either. You hold no animosity of course, yet you could barely bring yourself to talk to him despite seeing him all the time at 12 Grimmuald Place.

The weather is just cold enough outside that she wore her scarf; seeing it reminds you of the time she was there for you after the Yule Ball. You used to be an emotional wreck, so upset with yourself for saying yes to Neville, and furious and torn about Harry's response. Hermione was there, a literal shoulder to lean on. Her scarf was there too, and it soaked up more tears than you care to admit.

Things are better for you now, you're a better person for it. Remembering it all from then to now, you couldn't help but smile at her. Her face reflects her playful confusion, “What are you thinking about?” she asks.

You bashfully look down at your cute mittens. Your mum had knitted you the sweetest pair of mittens, and they were uncharacteristically matching of your other winter clothing. “Your scarf – it reminds me of us, you know?” You used to be so afraid to call the two of you an “us” but Hermione did it first. You were supposed to be the world-weary one, the one who is ready for anything, but she was the one who acknowledged it first.

Hermione smiles too now, giving you a hug as best she can without dropping her stack of books. “Your such a sweetheart,” she says in your ear, before pulling away. Hugs were harmless enough at Hogwarts, but even then you sometimes worry too long or too much might be enough to give yourself away. She unwraps her scarf, and in the same motion wraps it around your neck, on top of your own scarf. It covers your mouth, and you laugh through it. “Let's get inside before the wind picks up,” she says, grabbing your mitten and pulling you across the courtyard past a dozen underclassmen in the direction of the library.

The library is a soothingly quiet place, and Hermione practically had her own reserved desk. It wasn't long until you earned a spot at it yourself, and since it's where you spent most of your time together. Here it's innocent enough to be alone, and in the time you shared together, you've helped each other study for each other's classes, though lately, you're no longer alone. Harry, Hermione, and your brother have been studying for their O.W.L.s together, and you've been along for the ride. Today, however, neither of the boys were to be seen.

You don't usually finish before Hermione, but again it would seem she has an exceptional workload. She is humming again today and you listen to her soft tones as you pack up your work, her song one you're unfamiliar with. She doesn't even notice that you're finished until you speak. “Is that another muggle song?” You wondered if you sound like your dad; you would hate that, but you couldn't deny how charming muggle things can be sometimes.

Hermione looks up from the book, and clearly realizes she was humming. “Yeah, actually.” She gives a small nervous laugh, “it's a song by a band called 'The Beatles.'”

You chuckle a little. “That doesn't sound like a muggle band.”

She shares your amusement. “I guess you're right.”

Your dad had once tried to explain to you how muggles were able to broadcast their voices, but Hermione had a right laugh when you told her how you thought it worked. “They don't have to play with special instruments; it's not special noises that you can't hear.” She told you how it really worked, and it sounded like complete magic.

She finishes the rest of her work with your assistance, though you hardly do more than echo her words. You hope that by next year, some of this will have sunk in and you'll be more prepared for the O.W.L.s yourself. As she packs up you look at the dark windows. It's dark enough outside, that you see nothing through the window, only the reflections off the glass of the myriad candles in the library making it seem almost as if all of existence ends on the other side of the wall. On the other side of you, the aisle is empty, and most of the library is quiet.

You got the idea, but Hermione is the one to kiss you. Her lips press briefly against yours, you are faintly aware of her scent. Despite your own intentions, her kiss catches you off guard, and the moment you regain your senses and start to kiss her back, it's over. She smiles coyly in the knowledge of beating you to the punch, the look on your face made that plain as day. This had developed into an unspoken game the two of you shared, kissing each other in public when no one else was looking. You know it's childish, but it's fun, and once there was that one time…

Her prefect duties meant she had to leave once the two of you made it back to common room.

* * *

You've grown to accept having to sleep so close to her, yet not getting to be close with her. It was difficult at first, but after a few frustrating nights, you calmed down. You knew one day, it would be different, you wouldn't have to hide. Today others think you're alone, but you wonder what it would be if they knew. In a sense you feel alone a little, as if you and Hermione are just alone together. Neither of you has said anything about it, though you've thought about telling her every night for a while now. Your insecurities get the best of you at the worst of times. Every time you want to bring it up, you worry that she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her.

Tonight as you lie in bed, you find renewed vigor in yourself. In your head you resolve to talk to her; you want to ask her how she feels about it.

It's late, yet her bed is still empty. Your body aches and your head races, and with little mental protest, you get up and push your feet into your slippers, heading past the others in your chambers downstairs to the bathroom. You're going to go practice your charm, among other things.

The room is empty and thanks to all your mischief, you're proficient in the spell to lock the door behind you.

Your skin prickles as you sit in one of the baths, making a mess. The charm mostly works by now, and it has for a while. You were pretty good at controlling it, but if you were remotely scared of talking to her about your feelings for her, you're deathly afraid of talking to her about this. You dare to dream though. Your fingers relieve your pent up needs as you relive your tryst. Each time the details are embellished, yet you imagine it going a little further each time.

You remember her kiss after charms, and slipping into the closet; you remember what it felt like as you kissed her back in the darkness. You imagine her doing for you what you did for her, you pretend your fingers are hers. You could only hope that it was as good for her as this was for you. You remember your needs then, and your disturbing desires. That desire is only fueled by these late visits.

Later as you slip into your covers, you feel some small measure of shame. You're ashamed not only of your desires, but also of how scared you are to tell them to her, to even talk to her about your feelings for her. You're reminded of what it's like when you're with her, and you promise yourself to find an excuse to speak with her tomorrow.

* * *

You don't need to find an excuse. As soon as you got word that Dumbledore's army was meeting again tonight and you knew it would be the perfect time to speak to her alone. You charm a note that you folded into a bird to fly to her; it's your preferred way of sending her messages, though hardly discrete. That doesn't matter this time, since all the note says is “come early.”

Hermione is waiting for you before you arrive, and as you walk in, you're surprised at how empty the room of requirement is. She sat in the center, in one of two velvet armchairs. “Ginny,” she says, her expression one of pleasant anticipation. “What's this all about?” She motions to the spartan accommodations provided to you by the room.

“Beats me how the room knows, but I wanted to talk to you about something.” You sit down across from her, but you couldn't make yourself comfortable. The two of you sat froward with your hands in your laps, and as you look into her eyes, silence filled the room.

She looks down first, failing to hide a shy grin. “You wanted to say something?”

You give a nervous laugh and all the tension that had filled the room so suddenly was fading, but the moment you look into her eyes, your voice catches again and you fail to find the words. You had all day to come up with what to say, but as soon as you sent the note, you had a hard time thinking about anything to say. Now that you're here, you can't remember if you did think of anything to say. “I – um… I do.” Hermione's eyes seem to widen, and you realize you're keeping her in suspense. “Hermione, so much has happened lately, with You-Know-Who, and the school, and Harry, and my family. It's hard to even think of it all.” Your gaze lowers a bit and you see her holding her hands inches away from your own. “You've been by my side for so much of it,” you say as your hands take hers. They're cold and a little sweaty.

The moment hangs in the air for a brief eternity before you spit out what you wanted to say. “I really like you.” That sentence stirs in the silence between you, roiling and bubbling in your head so loud you could hear it over your own heartbeat. Hermione smiles in an expression of relief. She looks down shyly.

“I'm so happy to hear you say that,” she says, and you think you see her eyes watering.

You hold her hands tightly and start blurting out the next feeling that filled your head. “You're more than just a friend to me…” you stop, unsure of what you wanted to say next. Hermione wore a proud grin that told you how foolish you were to worry about this in the first place.

“Of course, Ginny…” she says with a subtle squeeze of your fingers.

You give another nervous laugh that after the fact feels uncouth. “I don't know what I expected… I'm glad all this was real.”

“I don't just kiss anyone you know,” Hermione adds playfully.

“Yeah, I knew that.” Your thumb runs over her fingers, “You don't mind that I'm… not a boy?” Saying the words felt so childish, but your head was pounding so much that you couldn't be bothered to phrase it differently and you really want to hear what she had to say about it.

She looks down at your hands at first, “I'll admit, my feelings for you are strange, but…” She looks into your eyes and speaks with conviction, “it doesn't change the way I feel about you.”

You say nothing, instead acutely aware of how close the two of you are to each other. Your face is only inches away from hers, and those inches seem to get smaller until your lips are right in front of hers. Your eyes close as you both pause waiting for the other to move. Before even touching you feel the closeness of her lips, you feel her bated breath, and you notice yours is held as well. Your body moves seemingly before your mind tells it and in an instant your hand is no longer in hers, but on her neck as your lips meet and you're in the midst of the least chaste kiss you've shared with her yet. At that instant all those teasing pecks on the lips before seem so feeble, so weak compared to this.

It wasn't long before your breathing catches up with you and your lips part. Your faces hang closely for a moment, but slowly you part further, knowing the others could arrive at any moment. “So, what do we do now?” you ask.

Something in her face told you she was quick to take your meaning. “I don't know…” She sees your expression, “You don't know either.”

Though there are couples at Hogwarts, you didn't know of any two girls, or guys for that matter, together. You weren't crazy about the idea of being the first. You wonder what your own dorm members would say; Angelina and Alicia might be welcoming, but you dreaded telling Lavender. Your hands go back to hers. “I'm happy just keeping this between us for now.”

There was another pause after that, and she looks at you as though she had forgotten what you were talking about. Her feelings were difficult to judge as she studies your face. “Me too…” she says at last, after long enough it takes you a second to realize what it was a response to. “…we have this to keep between us,” she says, leaning in again.

It starts off slow, her hand comes to your neck and she takes your lips in a succession of arrhythmic kisses. Before long her hand begins to wander down your robes and you find it hard to breath again for a moment.

In that moment, your most vulnerable moment, she breaks away. “We need to leave,” she says. Reluctantly, you stand up and catch your breath as she glances at your face and gives you an amused smile. She says nothing and you figure your cheeks must be bright red.

The two of you step outside just in time to see Neville and Angelina arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is going to contain watersports and more atypical things in later chapters.
> 
> I left it untagged for now since when I started writing it it turned out nicer than I thought. I figured I might as well let those who don't enjoy that kind of thing maybe enjoy it as it is now.


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